In England, the cost of a funeral for a child under 18 or a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy is paid for by The Children's Funeral Fund (similar schemes exist in the other countries of the UK). This fund can help pay for the cost of burial or cremation fees, the doctor's death certificate and a coffin or casket up to £300. The Funeral Director will make the claim to the government for costs they are contracted to supply for the family, namely the supply of the coffin, the removal of any medical implants before cremation, the completion of necessary cremation certificates, charges for grave digging or the supply of an urn to hold the cremated child's ashes.
Only if the family are on specific means-tested benefits will the government pay the cost of additional funeral expenses. This includes up to £1,000 for the Funeral Directors' fees, the cost of transporting the deceased's body, transport for the family to the funeral, a coffin (if costing more than £300) and flowers. Whilst in theory it could include funeral celebrant fees, with the average funeral costing over £3,500, you can see that the £1000 fund paid by the government is not going to go far. You can also begin to see why many Funeral Directors will ask a Funeral Celebrant if they will charge a reduced fee for their services or even write and deliver a child's funeral service for free. Vicars and Ministers will not charge for a child's funeral service.
When thinking about what you might charge for a child's funeral service you need to consider the time and emotional toll it will have on you as a professional.
Doctors, nurses, paramedics, social workers, police officers and teachers will all, to a greater or lesser extent, have to deal with the death of a child in their professional work. Employees who work for Funeral Directors will also, obviously, have to deal with bodies of children who have died and their bereaved families.
Child deaths are rare. 45% of all deaths are people over the age of 75. In modern Britain, child mortality is 8 child deaths per per 100,000. Child deaths will happen for various reasons and it can be shocking. When it does, doctors, nurses, paramedics, social workers, police officers, teachers and funeral workers will all expect to be paid to do their very skilled and important job.
So what about Funeral Celebrants?
Should Funeral Celebrants provide their professional time for nothing?
Some people would argue that it is a moral duty for Funeral Celebrants to offer their services for free when a child has died. After all, Ministers and Clergy will provide a funeral service for free. Shouldn't parents and families who are not church goers also have someone kind and supportive to write and deliver a meaningful funeral service for them too?
Our hearts may want to answer "Yes, of course" but remember that most ministers and clergy are also salaried employees paid (albeit not very much) by their church.
As professional independent and self-employed funeral celebrants we have bills to pay and families to feed. If we don't charge for our time and skills, we don't have income. So other people argue that comparing celebrants to clergy is unfair.
You may want to consider offering a reduced celebrant fee for child funerals.
As a Senior School leader and headteacher with over 23 years experience of dealing with young people and their families, I have had to support teenagers, staff and parents with a number of child deaths. Some were expected (e.g. terminal illness), some were unexpected deaths (e.g. accidents or suicide). Believe me, supporting young people, adults and their families when a young person has died is not a quick and easy job to do.
If done well, a Funeral Celebrant may end up taking twice the amount of time engaging with the family and friends of a teenager who has died to ensure the funeral service is inclusive and fitting. It may be slightly less time spent for a celebrant preparing and writing a funeral service for a toddler or a baby. The grief, shock and trauma experienced by parents however, is just the same. It can be totally debilitating for them and so anticipate meetings with the next-of-kin to take longer and to be more challenging than a meeting arranging a funeral for an over 75 year old.
There is a very good argument to say that Funeral Celebrants should be charging more for writing and delivering a funeral service for a child and certainly for the funeral of a teenager rather than less or doing all this for free.
What are the risks of saying you will do a child's funeral service at a reduced rate or for free?
By law, if a baby dies after 24 weeks of pregnancy, their body must be buried or cremated. Maternity hospitals often have a contract with a local Funeral Director to provide funerals for these babies (funded by The Children's Funeral Fund). I know of a number of Funeral Celebrants who after agreeing to do child funerals for free, have then experienced being asked to do a free infant funeral service almost weekly.
Often, parents of still-born babies understandably find it too harrowing to attend the funeral service. In these circumstances, it is common for a number of babies to be placed in the same adult sized coffin for cremation. If parents are attending, it is common for the parents or the Funeral Director to carry the baby's coffin into the chapel. The celebrant might even be asked to carry the coffin.
What are the risks of saying you wont do a child's funeral service at a reduced rate or for free?
Some Funeral Directors and arrangers do not take kindly if you say that you wont do a child's funeral service for free or at a very reduced rate. They may choose to never use you because of this answer. The questions you then need to ask yourself then are 1) "does it matter that they may not use me?" and 2) "do I really want to work for someone anyway who thinks I should be working for nothing?"
Alternatively, some celebrants take the decision that they gain more bookings from Funeral Directors by offering free child services when needed . Therefore to say "no" is a false economy, you will get fewer paid-for bookings as a result.
What is right for you?
Whatever your response to the question: "Do you charge for child funeral services?" you do need to have considered it carefully and answer it with confidence. You will be asked the question at some stage and better that you have thought about it or discussed it with others you trust, rather than being shocked and left speechless because you don't know what to say for the best.
One of the benefits of being self-employed is deciding how and when you work. Successful entrepreneurs and business owners are often great philanthropists and readily give their time and money to good causes. If you want to give your time for free to support families in these most challenging of circumstances, then it is your gift to do so. If you don't and feel you should be paid like the professional you are. This is OK too. Its your choice.
